Don’t Blame Me!

I left the house for the third time this week. If you have friends who work from home, you know most of us are loath to leave the house to meet up, run errands, or anything that might hazard bumping into other people. It’s a bother to go out. The shower (yep, we probably need one), the real clothes, the face, the hair, and (the horror!) shoes! Who could blame us for not wanting to meet up for a drink?

After going through this treacherous routine for a long overdue hair cut (it’s been seventeen months), I arrived to discover that my appointment was misscheduled. They had scheduled me for last Thursday, the week I was out of town, something I clearly explained when I asked for an appointment the next week. This week right here.

The receptionist probably unintentionally clicked on the wrong Thursday. These things happen to the best of us. I was almost over it, going through my list of consolations (fabulous weather, at least I don’t live far), when the manager came out. I assumed she was there to placate me.

You were scheduled for last Thursday. You even confirmed your appointment. 

Wait, what?

Yes, we have an automated system, and you confirmed.

That’s impossible. I was out of town.

They only had my landline, so she suggested maybe someone else confirmed it for me. Seemed unlikely, but I let her go with that, since I had no way of knowing until I was home to check caller ID. Rescheduled, so sorry, see you tomorrow, . . .  On the way home, I called my honey.

I don’t remember confirming a stylist appointment, but maybe . . . 

So he’s folded into this blame game too.

Why blame anyone?

When my children were young, if they started playing the blame game, sometimes I would diffuse it with It doesn’t matter whose fault it is. It’s about responsibility. Pinning the blame on specific people is tricky and not necessarily useful. Approaching a mistake or mishap by engaging responsiblity and next steps is much more effective.

The salon had blamed me. At home, I checked my caller ID and found only one call from the salon, on the day of my appointment, fifteen minutes after the misscheduled appointment should have started. I won’t even flesh out all of the crimes against customer-is-right code that the salon manager committed. The need to blame is outside of that. My initial feeling was to call the salon and cancel tomorrow’s appointment because I had been falsely blamed. But that would be petty, and I truly need a hair cut!

More importantly, even if she broke the customer-is-right code, she may have honestly thought I had confirmed an appointment. I’m not sure how their system works and what she was seeing on her computer screen to make that determination. And who would lie about a phone call these days? We all have caller ID.

I did call the salon.

Hi, this is Pennie Nichols. I was just there. Yes. The misscheduled appointment. I checked my caller ID. I didn’t receive a confirmation call before the appointment. The only call I received from the salon was fifteen minutes after you had me scheduled. The message was that you were checking on me because I had an appointment. You should check your automated system. Apparently it’s not working.

What fabulous weather we had today. I’m happy I was able to get out for a bit.

Addendum: A fellow blogger shared this Brené Brown YouTube® with me in the comments. Don’t miss it! She pins down the blame point: Dr. Brené Brown on Blame.

©Copyright Pennie Nichols. All Rights Reserved, 2017.

About Pennie Nichols

This little corner is dedicated to some of the things that interest me and to those of you who share those interests about relationships, travel, cooking, gardening, canning, jewelry, and writing. I’ll throw in some recipes and stories for your reading pleasure.

6 thoughts on “Don’t Blame Me!

  1. Leanne

    The blame game is such an easy thing to get sucked into – if we can find someone to lay the blame on then we always feel better. I’m trying to not do it (this Brene Brown clip really made me stop and think – I’m getting better at letting things go through to the keeper these days – it’s less stressful! Hope your haircut turned out well after all the mucking around.
    Leanne |

  2. Renee Stambaugh

    Pretty sure I would have had to call them and let them know they were wrong..the “customer is always right” thing seems to have gone by the wayside lately…hope the hair comes out ok…

  3. Midlife Dramas in Pyjamas

    I know there’s no way I could have not called the salon to point out the error of their ways. That would’ve just niggled away at me I’m afraid. I’m quick to admit if I’M in the wrong, but I am NOT happy to have been placed in the wrong incorrectly! Lol!

  4. Kathy @ SMART Living

    Hi Pennie! Good for you for speaking directly with the salon and telling them you had proof that you weren’t crazy! Far too often when something like that happens it is easy to blame and then NOT take action to clarify the situation. Then it just grows and festers in our minds for days. Not good. Much better to address it and move on just like you did. ~Kathy


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