I thought I couldn’t do it, but I’m breaking up.
You’ve bullied my serenity for the last time.
I’m done with your abusive tantrums that drown out the morning birdsong and dim the colors of a sunrise.
I’m fed up with your thievery, sneaking in at night to steal my sleep, disturb my peace, and displace my joy.
I feel better already just telling you, because it seemed impossible.
I’m grateful for my friends who reminded me that it is possible to step away from an abusive relationship., that I’m not obliged to make space for you, that I can sever the cords of co-dependence.
So adiós you sadistic bastard.
And I’m telling.
I’m going to make sure I tell everyone I know that you’re a schmuck, that you can’t be trusted.
Maybe I should be more mature about it and resist the name-calling but I want to get it all out of my system. I need to say it to release the rage I’ve allowed to swell within.
- You’re a noisy narcissist, distracting everyone from the important people and things.
- You’re a selfish jerk, with no respect for boundaries, poisoning our days with tension and stress.
- You’re a thieving asshole, stealing the precious moments we should be living.
- You’re a perfidious bully, taking up space and time that don’t belong to you.
So, Death, get the hell out. You don’t belong in my life. Honestly, I don’t even believe in you. I’m not sure I ever did. It’s a little crazy that I ever let you into my heart at all.
And don’t bother crawling back to me because I’ve already found something better. I’m dumping you to make space for Life.
I’ll run into you again. In our circle, it’s inevitable, but until it’s unavoidable, stay away. I don’t have time for you now. I have a Life.
©Pennie Nichols. All Rights Reserved. 2023
I feel like I’m stuck in this same relationship. Since I was diagnosed with congestive heart failure and am now on home oxygen I feel like the idea has moved in and won’t budge which pisses me off when I need the energy to fight harder it’s always there to say “why bother” and then I look at my grandchildren, husband and pregnant daughter and I know what I’m fighting for. I want to be as strong as you are.
We’ll always be dancing with Death. Instead of pushing away the thoughts, flood your heart and mind with your grandchildren, husband, daughter… with the life you’re still living.
Words of great wisdom. May the sun continue to shine on you and may the birds sing their sweet spring songs whenever you are outside. Alana ramblinwitham
Loved this so much! Let’s face it, any thinking person (especially older) has death on their mind constantly. Who couldn’t? It’s the greatest mystery. Just had a dear friend pass and all I can think is… where did he go? I ask, but his silence is deafening.
I stand with you, my friend! Death, take a hike!
It’s what I needed to hear this morning and for the last several weeks (ever since I saw my two cardiologists back-to-back). Death has its way of sneaking into your heart (literally) and mind. Yet, I plan for and dream about forever like death cannot take me down. Hope you’re doing well. Saw you were in Pensacola. ❤️