Mom comes over sporting a cane today.
The right one?
No, this one, pausing to wave the cane at the left knee. I wish they would finish what they’re doing.
She’s holding the cane in her right hand, which is correct, but she’s moving it with the right knee, which is wrong.
What they’re doing?
Yeah. You know . . .
Thinking . . . I don’t really know.
You mean, the exercises? The PT?
Today is Thursday, and it’s been gray, cloudy, humid, and foggy since we took a short road trip on Monday. I took her for PT on Wednesday. All my joints feel achy from this gray weather. Could that be the problem?
When you go back Friday, you need to tell them . . .
I don’t think I’m going back. My knee hurts.
But you’re going because your knee hurts. They’re supposed to help make it better.
Well, I don’t know, as she almost trips over an ant bed.
You need to tell them in case something you did there yesterday . . .
Oh, I won’t remember . . .
This is how our conversation goes from my house to hers, as she shuffles, her feet barely clearly the tired winter grass. This feels like downhill. I try to be careful with my words.
In case you don’t remember, I’ll tell dad to be sure they know your knee was hurting today.
Wasn’t it just yesterday, I leaned on her?
You need help with ____ [fill in the blank with the move, painting, cutting down the tree, taking down the pool, refinishing the cabinets, the kids, the wedding, school, a dress, the story, your buttons, your nap . . . lullaby, say goodnight . . .]?
Today she leans on the cane, on me, and most heavily on dad.
Today is downhill. I liked the hike uphill better.
Maybe tomorrow the clouds will break and, when we walk up the hill to her house, she won’t need the cane.
©Pennie Nichols. All Rights Reserved. 2020.
All this stuff with our parents….reminds me to go out and enjoy life now.
I do my best.
What a sweet, sad moment. Moms are supposed to always be strong and in charge. Not frail and timid.
I lost my mom much too early. And lost her years before that to a hideous disease that robs them (and us) of their minds before ever touching their bodies. A cruel truth.
I do hope your mom’s knee gets better and she can throw that wretched cane a mile!
For my mom. And me.
How beautiful and beautifully sad. I’ve been walking this road for a very long time.
I always found that on the dark, dreary days mom was always worse than when it was sunny outside.
This is true but also cold days. Today is sunny but too cold for her to be comfortable, even bundled up, outside. The confinement is hard on her.
Yes, on the joints. Mine too! But the ALZ is also worse on dreary, dark days AND on cold days, even if it’s sunny. Today is too cold for her to enjoy the outdoors, even bundled up.
Beautifully said and written! Thanks for sharing.
Oh yes this brings back so many memories of caregiving. Hugs.
I love you! Thanks for making me cry with your sweet words of wisdom. ❤
One of many regrets: I wish I had walked slower with Mom when we were out and about and taken more time to enjoy a cup of coffee on the front porch with her!! It’s the little things!!