Dear Samir,
You are 32 years old today.
Wow.
So, ahem. You may or may not like this. I’m starting a new tradition and I’m sure it will make all your friends jealous (hah!): a Birthday Blog.
I’ve already handwritten this letter to you and I’ll send that along via snail mail (although I may rewrite it so you can actually read the letter). I was going to just email it, but I like alliteration, so Birthday Blog is the electronic share.
Life is such a miracle of change. Growth, loss, joy, and heartache shape us and bake into our days. Every now and then, we pause to look at ourselves and each other, often on birthdays. In this pause, we see the changes and experience a rush of emotions.
Me? As I take that moment—this moment today—to see you, I think, Wow.
Numbers and Order
You are the last of my children and the first birthday in the calendar year.
Did you ever think how the calendar scrambled you and your sisters? The last is first, the first is middle, and the middle is last? Random birthday pause thought.
I’m not sure where the next thirty-two years will take us, nor how many of those I’ll be here to share with you, but I know that despite all the things I got wrong, I must have done one or two things well enough, even if just modeling getting therapy to recover from the mistakes I made raising you.
Today is the 53rd day of the year. You were born of the 53rd day of 1994. You can ask Google about all the “important” trivia from that date. I just wonder if your numbers stick in your head the way they do in mine. I notice 2:22 on the clock several times a week. Do you? Does the sequence 1-9-9-4—or maybe just 9-4—come up for you? Did you realize, before reading you this, that your were born on the 53rd day of the year?
Daily Readings
Part of my Birthday Blog tradition will be sharing snippets from my daily readings. Today’s come from The Daily Buddhist, 365 Tao, A Year with C.S. Lewis, and A Calendar of Wisdom. Not in that order. I’m redacting assignations. Maybe you can guess. You can always ask.
There is a force that resides in all things, without which there is no heaven and earth. […] It is very remote from us, and it is closest to us.
To reduce your tendency to cling to anything—your possessions, your money, your job, your reputation, your status—break down all the different factors that make it mean so much to you.
He is the source from which all your reasoning power comes: you could not be right and He wrong any more than a stream can rise higher that its source.
The wise arrange their lives so that they can always return to balance.
After I wrote this and before I keyed it into my blog space, I took a walk around the farm. The line about breaking things down resonated because we’re all struggling with losing this farm. But it’s in us.
Take Notice
As I walked, I noticed some of the plants, the crisp air. I reflected on you, your birthday, your birthday month.
There is almost always king cake for your birthday, but there are also the yellow trumpet flowers that defy winter, climbing the trees with their green leaves and breaking out into yellow song. And I remembered you play trumpet and your trumpet solo at one of the LSU choir performances.
The azaleas pop pink around your birthday, and daffodils begin their push to the surface. Weather is crazy, just yesterday we hit close to 80, and today it’s barely holding 50 with a freeze coming.
It’s trivia. And numbers are just numbers. But if we notice—if we pause to feel that force within us, to arrange the trivial and achieve balance—if we stay mindful of our days, we find the joy. Those daffodils that escaped Mama Nick’s flower beds and took up space on the edge of the woods. The trumpet flowers lining the path around the woods like petals dropped by a flower girl at a wedding. 2:22 on the analog clock.
I’m glad of many things when I think of you. I hope I do a good job of letting you know that in person. The way you would greet Mama Nick with a hug-lift—it lifted me with her. I love your very early-blooming integrity and depth, the deep feelings you had for friends and connections. I loved watching you play soccer. My heart caught when I found you shaving Papa Nick’s beard for him, and baking brownies with Mama Nick. You were the little brother with the big heart.
I hope you have a beautiful day, that you are thrilled to receive a Birthday Blog.
I love you.
Mama
©Pennie Nichols. All Rights Reserved. 2026
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