Going to writer events is a bit like inviting your demons to tea.
A friend told me I should attend a book release and signing event. I didn’t know the author, but I trusted my friend. So last Friday, I went to a Craft Talk hosted by Jami Attenberg, celebrating the release of Lauren Groff‘s story collection, Brawler.
A small leap of faith.
“Invite Your Demons to Tea” was the title of The Daily Buddhist reading yesterday. The concept is simple: when Mara—the embodiment of negative emotions—shows up, don’t run and don’t try to chase him away. Instead, invite him to tea. Sit with him, with the negative emotions. The demons lose their power when we stop resisting them, and they leave on their own.
I felt a tickle of negative emotions listening to Lauren Groff.
She’s almost twenty years younger than I am—doing what I didn’t (but wanted to do) at her age.
But as I listened, self-doubt gave way to something else. Hope replaced comparison. Affirmation replaced self-flagellation.
Shared Demons, Shared Spaces
Lauren wrestles with many of the same doubts and demons I do. She has her own tricks for facing Mara.
Our paths are different, but the difference doesn’t have to inspire fear in me.
As I stood in line to have my copy of Brawler signed, I recognized another author just outside the line in conversation with someone.
Not long ago, I wouldn’t dare interrupt a conversation to ask, “Are you Ladee Hubbard?”
But I did.
“Yes,” she said.
I told her I’d attended a Coffee & Craft talk at the Baldwin & Co Coffee + Bookstore where she discussed her novel The Talented Ribkins. I’d gone home and read it immediately—and loved it.
“Of course. At Baldwin & Co.”
I was in good company.
No surprise that there were other authors in the crowd, and I suspect, a healthy number of unpublished writers.
For me, the event affirmed my journey and my place, steadying my feet as I stepped into a community where I belong.
My path doesn’t resemble Lauren and Ladee’s. I didn’t pursue an MFA. I finished my first novel later. Also, I didn’t take the bohemian path of smoke-filled European cafés and hookah lounges.
Instead, I detoured. Delayed. Took “safe” routes, the kind ego encourages when it whispers that the risky path might expose us.
But part of my recent journey has been debunking the myth of how writers are made. I’m also releasing the fear that writing communities are snake pits.
The writing communities I’m finding—and helping create—tell a different story.
Even the simplest writing groups—an hour of shared quiet creative space, for example—buoy me on my creative path.
Demons Don’t Stay
Lauren’s words, the presence of other authors and writers, the conversations and connections—all quieted that tickle of fear: Do I belong here?
I didn’t exactly invite my demons to tea that night.
But I did let them come along for the outing.
And I reminded them: just because I arrived late to the room doesn’t mean it’s too late.
Who knows? Maybe I arrived exactly on time.
I’m pleased to report the demons have no staying power.
But I do.
I know who I am, and I’m here to stay.
I’m deeply grateful for the venues, events, and voices that make connections possible.
A shout out to Jami Attenberg (writers, follow her on Substack) and to Blue Cypress Books for hosting a wonderful event.
And to Lauren—your writing is brilliant, and your framing of the difference between writing stories versus writing novels was spot on. I look forward to reading more.
And of course to Ladee Hubbard, whose work I’m eager to keep exploring.
I’m already making plans to attend another event.
I wonder if my demons will even bother following me there.
©Pennie Nichols. All Rights Reserved. 2026.
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