The third Alzheimer’s Bull post was on my birthday. I was at the farm.
By then, I had begun to show up on the farm every month for at least two weeks. Like most caregivers, I fumbled around, sorting out what to do for mom—and for dad, because the closest of kin are also in the path of the bull—and nurturing my patience so that I had extra when I was with mom on bad days.
As a child in a family of doers, sitting doesn’t come easily. Surely, there’s something I can do!
Not all Alzheimer’s victims are aware, they may not see the bull or feel the rumble of his hooves as he charges and the heat of his breath as he nears. But mom was aware, and she sat with the emotions around that awareness—anger, terror, frustration, loneliness—for over a year.
Mom needed us to sit with her. She wanted us to show up and sit. But who is to say that the seemingly oblivious victims of Alzheimer’s or the volatile ones who rage in denial don’t also need someone to show up, to take a moment and sit with them.
Going into this journey, I didn’t realize how dreadfully lonely Alzheimer’s can be for its victims, and sometimes its caregivers.
If you’re not sure what to do for someone battling the disease, just show up. Sit a spell.
©Pennie Nichols. All Rights Reserved. 2023